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Lately it seems I am the only Masculine Black SGL Man that still believes in dating, romance and getting to know someone in the entire United States. It seems to me that Black, Hispanic, Samoan, etc. . . Masculine men are seen as nothing more than porn stars and sex objects in America. Can someone please enlighten a brotha for real? What is going on with Masculine men loving Masculine Men? Not only does it seem to be a revolutionary act, it seems downright taboo as if there is something wrong with masculine men love each other even among ourselves.

Is there anywhere to meet another Masculine SGL man beside the club and internet?
Do Masculine men believe in romance, affection and intimacy with another Masculine man?
Are Masculine men just sex objects?
Does getting to know someone require immediate sexual activity among Masculine SGL Men?

Why are gay men so anxious to meet someone but once they have disappear off the face of the earth?

What has happen to staying in touch, getting to know someone and two way communication?

Why is it Brotha will take a dick down the throats but not a tongue in the mouths?

Now I am a strong believer in keeping your business private but the same time not denying your partner. But, when did political activistism take the place of a healthy relationship? Hit a brotha up with some POSITIVE and uplifting response. I am starting to feel I am the only one out here. I strongly believe in romance, intimacy, communication, affection and monogamy among Masculine SGL men of Color.

 

Are there any SGL MASCULINE Men of Color interested in dating, love, companionship and romance?

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i already started a chat on this matter, you can still be seen by posting in my chat

Funny you mention this because I was engaging in this conversation with a close friend of mine over the weekend. Here are others who feel as you do but it has become very difficult to find them.

I can appreciate your frustration, but what are you basing this on? Internet profiles? Porn personalities? It seems that there are a few men, possibly including yourself, that are more focused on locating a man of color and filling a "look" preference than identifying a man of dignity and actual value. Raise the standard for the type of man that you are looking for, and you won't be broached with these types of problems. There are many good looking men who are serious about getting to know someone... clearly they exist as we are here discussing it now and there a multiple threads with other men sharing the same desire. "Masculine men" aren't seen as the commodity... ALL men (and women) are. Black men, Latino men, Asian men, hairy men, chubby men, bodybuilders... there's a niche for everyone. But we get so caught up in those niches, and "really wanting a brotha" that we forget what else we should be demanding in our potential partners.

All of your questions sound to me like you have been dealing with men who are just looking for sex. Get out of the club and off the Internet. The Internet is a great way of meeting people, but please recognize that the men you may be looking for might get lost in the shuffle. Try the apps, try the gym, try a class, try getting out and about in town and approach a stranger that you get more than a sexual vibe from. We are more than sex objects, but the gay community has a tendency belittle its worth down to the quick satisfaction of who's hot and who's got a big dick. Its easy to see why relationships that last longer than 6 months are celebrated!

I've been with my man for a 9 months, and when met and were first getting to know each other, sex was not the ultimate goal of our time. Of course there was attraction, but it wasn't until we knew we wanted more from each other that we decided to wait on sex until the time was right... not until we first noticed our dicks were hard lol. Just raise your standard...

Good morning, je viens de lire le 1er texte, je vais te répondre franchement : Il y trop de tabou encore surtout chez les homos blancs en France comme ailleurs, moi je suis contre ces tabous et ses préjugés de certaines personnes, comme dans les gouvernements, Dieu a dit "aimez-vous les uns et les autres, il ne l'a pas dit que pour les hétéros, il a dit pour tout le Monde, Blancs-blacks-jaunes ect...mais qui bloque tout cela c'est la paroisse enfin en France on dit (les curés). Dommage que tu soit si loin car je n'ai pas de tabou en moi, car je te montrerais comme je t'aime et que j'aime les blacks mais pas pour le sexe mais avec des sentiments, et je dois te dire que je vie mon homosexualitée sans tabou et sans préjugés.

Translation: "Good morning, I just read the first entry, I'll reply frankly: There are still too many taboos above all among white men in France and elsewhere, me I'm against these taboos and prejudices by certain people, and in governments, God said "love one another," he did not say that only for straights, he said it for everyone, whites-blacks-yellows, etc. . . . but parishes block this, you know, as we say in France (the priests). Too bad that you are so far away because I have no taboos, I would show you how I love you and that I love blacks but not [just] for sex but with feelings, and I have to say that I live my homosexuality without taboos and prejudices."

I am an older SGB man as i see that in today's society of the gay world it's about looks.  I hope you find the guy you are looking for.

Matthew, I'm curious to know what show are you watching lol As far as the media goes, I don't see too many gay black men in the first place, let alone see them be portrayed with white partners. Further, I'm surprised to see that you are from Southern CA, because it has been my experience that blacks are not considered to be "accepted" down here. And even if we are pursued by whites or any other color, they seem to be looking for a certain image, ie, the urban Chris Brown, the rough thug. If we don't look like the image that mainstream society puts in the media (all of society, not just gay), then we aren't wanted. I've seen it written too many times online "No fats, no fems, no blacks." Its one thing to say that our men can't get it together for ourselves, but its another to say that other cultures are doing something to us to make us look bad.

We make ourselves look bad. Period. And anytime we wonder why "blacks can't overcome" or why gays aren't portrayed well, we must consider that we haven't done enough to put ourselves in the greatest light. Obama is not going to save us, nor will Anderson Cooper. We need far more action than what we have seen and it will take all of us to put our best foot forward to show what we has a black, gay culture are worthy of everything this world has to offer.

I'll step down from my soap box now :)

So what are your (or anyone else's) thoughts on a black man that doesn't necessarily need/seek out another black man. I wasn't really looking for anyone or anything when I found my partner, but he certainly isn't black lol

The first issue of finding a man is not just racially bound. All gay life is set up right now to meet men off of the internet or a bar scene; we know it's not really a healthy way to start the relationship but we don't get to many other options.  I prefer internet because you can kind of filter it out, and I'm just horrible at the bar scene.  Though you do realize if you go to a website that is geared towards sex, and gay men still being men. You'll know it's mostly going to be sex offerings. So it's up to you to filter it out and find whose going to be worth it mentally or not.  You are not alone many people (including myself) want someone to call their own and would want more than the 'fun' buddy.  They want a lover, a partner, they want to be married.

I would agree with Matthew, Murphy's Law does seem to work, when you given up hope, and forgotten about it then you find that one when you weren't looking at all. The ancient greeks also noted that love is blind.  That person may not have all the physical looks but they would make up in the mental aspect and just drive your fascination.


I have been in a relationship for five years and always get dismayed at the look of disbelief in the listeners face. There are many reasons why the coloured masc men are "rare". The long history of slavery and the long road to emancipation makes it seem like a black gay man is selling the rest of the race out ...so its just simply intolerable.......the masc black man will get married and will make do with very casual furtive gay relationships often just simply one night stands(dL).

There is a fixation on the young sculpted  cut tall dark handsome black man...just look at the latest movies or fashion adverts.....as previously stated the society and media have set a standard we all try to attain(unrealistic) with varying degrees of results often ending in pain and failure(we cant all look like an urban Chris Brown).

Finally and most importantly  we are a let down to our selves. Its important to fight these profiling stereotyping etc and try to make it realistic  so relationships will last longer . We place too much empahsis on the physical and worship youth...I once met a nineteen year old online and just in a casual conversation he stated clearly he would not date anyone over twenty five....I asked him I hope he didnt hope to grow older than twenty five or he would have no relationship till he died.he clearly had not thought of this.The years of offensive oppression has not helped earlier but however we can make a change.
Matthew said:

I can appreciate your frustration, but what are you basing this on? Internet profiles? Porn personalities? It seems that there are a few men, possibly including yourself, that are more focused on locating a man of color and filling a "look" preference than identifying a man of dignity and actual value. Raise the standard for the type of man that you are looking for, and you won't be broached with these types of problems. There are many good looking men who are serious about getting to know someone... clearly they exist as we are here discussing it now and there a multiple threads with other men sharing the same desire. "Masculine men" aren't seen as the commodity... ALL men (and women) are. Black men, Latino men, Asian men, hairy men, chubby men, bodybuilders... there's a niche for everyone. But we get so caught up in those niches, and "really wanting a brotha" that we forget what else we should be demanding in our potential partners.

All of your questions sound to me like you have been dealing with men who are just looking for sex. Get out of the club and off the Internet. The Internet is a great way of meeting people, but please recognize that the men you may be looking for might get lost in the shuffle. Try the apps, try the gym, try a class, try getting out and about in town and approach a stranger that you get more than a sexual vibe from. We are more than sex objects, but the gay community has a tendency belittle its worth down to the quick satisfaction of who's hot and who's got a big dick. Its easy to see why relationships that last longer than 6 months are celebrated!

I've been with my man for a 9 months, and when met and were first getting to know each other, sex was not the ultimate goal of our time. Of course there was attraction, but it wasn't until we knew we wanted more from each other that we decided to wait on sex until the time was right... not until we first noticed our dicks were hard lol. Just raise your standard...

i like this.

Maybe this is a modern version of Sleeping Beauty!

TIAGO said:

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